In the Long Run....

​In the Long Run….
 
The past two weeks have been difficult. My daughter caught the cold/flu and was pretty sick. She doesn’t usually get fevers but she did. Unfortunately this came during finals. After finals her flu got worse and she started the throwing up phase. Okay, call me a bad mom but while I cared for her I was also thinking…. Dear God, I cannot catch this flu, I have a half marathon in three weeks.
 
Well, I didn’t get as sick as my girlie, but I did catch a cold. I took off a couple of runs and got more rest. I took Mucinex and prayed. When this past Saturday came I decided I would still do my long run. I had to. I knew it was just a cold and I need to toughen up and go to it. On top of this, it had rained and my normal route in the orchards was not a good idea. The street was already partially flooded last week and the dirt was muddy before, surely it would be a mess it I attempted to run there now.
 
We live up in the hills of Patterson and while driving down to our gym, my husband suggested I run from the gym back up Diablo Grande towards our home and when I hit halfway, come back down. In my head (where I generally live – ha ha), I was like HELL NO…. UP HILL 5.5 MILES and back down won’t be all downhill. I was already feeling under the weather, what the heck. Shouldn’t I take it easy? But honestly, I was interested in doing something new. Also, this would mean running up part of the road where there is barely a shoulder. I’m not a fan of running close to cars or semis.
 
My husband and I have a routine on long run days (Saturdays or Sundays). He works out at the gym and I leave from the gym to the farmland, which is only a few blocks away. This way he is a phone call away should there be a problem. I can still remember the time I ran 18 miles and it wasn’t a run out and back run. I ran out and when I hit 18 I literally sat my ass down on the sidewalk and called him to get me. He is my moral support. I text him when I’m about halfway done and he says something sweet like – Go MoMo Go. Of course my runs are usually longer than his workout so he runs an errand and has a cold water and sweet card for me when I get back. It’s nice having someone waiting for you – you certainly don’t want to take your time.
 
Saturday I decided what the hell, I would go up Diablo and come back down. I decided I wouldn’t worry about my pace. In fact, if I felt bad, I would cut my run short and come back. I started out and along the way I nearly tripped over a little, dead boar. Yup I said a dead boar. I often see dead animals. I felt this was a sign and someone or something was telling –hey you fat ass – you need to do this. Yea, the inner critic. He needs to kiss my you know what.
 
I ran under the freeway and there was the hill. My brother texted me asking me what I was up to and told him. I suppose I whined a bit – I was running my hills WITH A COLD. It was hardly Everest. He wrote – Keep it up.  So I did. I just kept at it. I felt like the Little Engine that Could (I know – I’m dating myself). I think I can. I think I can.
 
My head felt good. I felt strong and I kept on plugging away. What really inspired me was the shear beauty. It was such a beautiful day. The clouds were beautiful and the sun was vibrant. I wanted to keep going. A few times I needed to walk a bit because the hills were steep. My legs started to cramp a bit so I took in a gel and drank my water with Tailwind. I started again and I felt good. MoMo was doin it and I felt good.  Cars whisked by and I had to pay attention and move to the dirt to be safe. Every now and again I remember that my mom was dead by my age.  This long run brings only positive thoughts (wow, this is unusual). The inner critic has been quiet since the dead boar citing.  I was thinking about a podcast I heard and this woman was talking about having an open heart. This run made my heart full – I felt invigorated. My two prior runs were horrid. One five-mile run felt like 20.  This open heart feeling overwhelmed me. I felt so good – I wanted everyone to feel like this. I’m going to try and hold onto this feeling throughout the week.
 
Running has made me feel more. Some it isn’t always so great… but  mostly I feel strong and whole, like I can face anything.  In the long run….anything is possible. 


PS... A BIG PS.... So last night (Sunday night) we had a pretty decent wind storm and my BIG DOG, Bodhi, lost his stuff. I mean he was barking all night long. I don't think he stopped until 4 am. My husband and I were delirious, The wind howled, so did Bodhi, and we could hear our patio furniture blowing around on our patio. It was maddening. My long run was behind me and I was in a crazed delirium, just needing sleep. How can my disposition switch so quickly? But that's just life, right? Do we really have any control? There is always something to test us on every level. Right when you think you got this, you don't and seriously, do we want this any other way. We cannot want predictable, otherwise why do we go on this journey? I went to school late, with an open heart. and it was an okay day.