MoMo Did It!

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Hi everyone,

I started writing this on my flight home to the Bay Area but it took me the entire week to reflect on the whole TCS NYC Marathon experience. I am so happy I did it, but I won’t lie, I was not happy about my performance. The run was so crazy… there were people everywhere… little kids on the side of the road reaching their hand out to get a high five; families calling out your name in support and bands playing music to keep you moving.

At one point during the race the “Whip it” song came on my music and there was this crowd on the side of the street with police blocking a road… I stopped and you know what I did… MoMo whipped it and did the Nae Nae. The crowd went crazy and I decided to have fun. If I had only known… that my calves would literally seize up around mile 8 or 9, perhaps I would have been less crazy. I wasn’t overly concerned with my time… okay, maybe a little.  I was running along and literally my calves balled up. I couldn’t run, I was afraid I would trip and fall. I stopped and sat on the side of the street. I tried to massage my calves and I realized I might not get up. What the hell?  I have run so much further than this without any difficulties. I have to say there were more hills than I imagined; perhaps I overexerted myself. Immediately my EGO entered my thoughts (you know him, he’s friends with my Inner Critic). I really wanted to end the race around 5 hours but I knew now that would not happen. I picked my sorry ass up and continued. I ran a bit… the muscles seized again and I ran more. My pace was so much slower than before. I started thinking that I needed more fuel so I began eating my goo’s and drinking at the water stations.

For a while, I felt a little better. On one of the bridges (not sure which, but I think the second), I saw runners stretching out but leaning on the poles. I did that and felt a little relief so I decided I would do that every so often when I felt uncomfortable or in pain. I saw everyone taking selfies on the bridge and I thought, what the hell, I may as well get some selfies (those are the selfies I posted on Facebook).  I told my EGO to shut his face while I made my way through the race and make the best of the experience.

I was so blessed to have this trip. My brother took care of everything, the room, the plane ride, and several amazing meals. I could not have done this marathon without him. 

Note: About the EGO, Wayne Dyer referred to the EGO as Earth Guide Only. The EGO can’t bring you closer to your true nature. It was primarily concerned with others’ opinions of you, of how you look to the rest of the world. EGO cannot accept failure, even though you know that failure can bring about so much growth. EGO cares about your reputation and is wrapped up with appearance.

The course was relentless and brutal. I was pissed. How could I be so easily fooled? Who do I think I am? (Inner Critic) You have to push through and run harder (EGO). Then my calves would ball up again. Why was I doing this? What was I trying to prove? I looked down at my duct tape nametag that I made so spectators could call out my name as I ran. At first I had written Trish and then my brother pointed out that it should be MoMo. So it said “MoMo’s Doin It!”  Well my nametag was crunched up… MoMo looked tired and haggard. I heard a couple people call out to me…. And when I looked over I saw my brother’s in-laws, Rich and Arlene, and I ran over to them. You know how you feel when you see your parents after something bad has happened? I saw them and burst into tears. They saw me stop on the tracker and they were worried I was dropping out. They gave me words of encouragement and that propelled me to keep moving.

I looked at my phone and I saw the messages and realized that so many friends were tracking me. The EGO chimed in – commenting on my pace and time – but I kept moving. I began thinking about this podcast with this yoga teacher was talking about Grace and Grit. That is what held on to. This was freakin hard but damn it I could do this. I continued on with the race.

The pain was pretty bad. I knew I had to do this. I raised money from people who believed in me. The day before the race I went to a meet and greet with the Tillman Foundation. I listened to stories of the Tillman Scholars who had received scholarships. My cramping calves were NOTHING compared to what these people had been through. One of the scholar recipients spoke of losing her husband on Christmas day during his tour and then having to deal with the aftermath. The Tillman Foundation gave her an educational scholarship and she’s going to help Vets navigate their lives after they get out of the service, the red tape and the paperwork. One woman who is a soldier had undergone a double mastectomy and a hysterectomy due to cancer. She is an ultra marathoner…. She is badass.  I had to keep moving in their honor.

Towards the end, I was literally crying. My brother had been waiting over an hour. I know I’ve run 20 miles but I’m telling you now the last 6 felt like another 20. This is so ridiculous! There were still up hills and by the way, mile 22 felt like 2 miles. Then my final morbid thought, I am 53 and I’m running a marathon. If I were my mom, I would have been dead already. I had to do this. I have been making these silly videos for Sophia saying “MoMo’s doin it.” I had to do it. I kept pushing – walking – running – walking – running. Finally the end was right in front of me. All of it was over, sort of and then there was the walk …. long walk to get our medal (which, by the way, is amazing), the food bag, and the poncho…. Holy crap it was a long walk. Then there was an uphill …. Really? I kept moving. I literally wanted to throw up. I was in so much pain and I just wanted to sit. I found my brother and we hugged. We did it! Believe it or not, we went back to the hotel and met his in-laws for dinner. I could barely carry on a conversation because my calves hurt so bad.

Finally, I have to say that my support system was ENORMOUS. My husband who was there at the end of the long runs, sometimes to pick me up where I stopped, and listened to my playback of every mile.  My kids who sent me texts and words of encouragement. To my grandbabies, Sophia and Joey… who make me happier than any run. My Foothill family, who gave me regular pep talks and advice, my students who wrote me notes if I hit the wall (wow! That was amazing).  My friends who love me unconditionally… my cheer family and complete strangers who believed.

Now what? It is a week today since I ran the marathon. Looking back I feel better because I finished. I dealt with my Inner Critic and my Ego and told them what was up. I am going to keep running after I recover and I’ve already lined up a couple of short races. My son and my daughter are going to run with me. I feel antsy and I want to get back at it because I know the reason I started this is because it made me feel good. In the end, I’m learning to accept myself for who I am, flaws and all. I did not run the NYC Marathon the best I could… I’m not sure why my calves cramped up but I FINISHED. Right now I will accept that and look to the next race. MoMo did it!